I discovered this recipe back in high school, when I didn’t know how to cook. This is what you do when somebody leaves a beer in your fridge that you won’t or can’t drink.

1 12-oz beer
3 C self-rising flour
3 T sugar

Combine ingredients and bake in a greased loaf pan at 350 F for about an hour.

If you don’t have self-rising flour, you can use regular flour and add:
1-1/2 T baking powder
1-1/2 tsp salt.
…but that means 5 ingredients, so I’d have to change the name of the recipe.